No Tomorrow 1.05: "No Regrets"

“Tomorrow at lunch, I am going to apologize so hard, Fern won’t know what hit her!”
-Evie

After an episode that was a bit of a downer, “No Tomorrow” returned to being the cute show that leaves me smiling. I was a little disturbed by the plot, where a high school frienmy basically Single White Females Evie, but there was good stuff on the Evie and Xavier front by the end of the episode, which was enough for me. Also kind of disturbing were the latest developments with Deirdre and Hank. I just really don’t support their relationship at all. It’s all kinds of problematic in a power imbalance kind of way, and I just don’t see the chemistry at all. The sooner that mess is over, the better, as far as I’m concerned. Overall, though, this episode was a return to the lighthearted tone that led me to enjoy the series so much in the first place.

After playing shopping card slingshot, Evie and Xavier try to decide which Apoca-list items to tackle next. They pass by building (and having sex in) a blanket fort to move to tougher stuff. Xavier encourages Evie to try and make amends with her high school friend, Fern. They were planning on trying out for colorguard co-captains together, but at the last minute, Evie was recruited by the volleyball team. Fern would spend the rest of high school as a social pariah. I was in colorguard myself in high school, and I’ve got to say that I wasn’t super impressed by Evie and Fern’s routine. How about some double-time drop spins finished off with a toss, ladies! Anyway, Evie gets Kareema to look through the Cybermart database to find Fern, and it turns out that Fern’s last order was 400 pounds of cat food. Evie is petrified that she really did ruin Fern’s life and that Fern became a crazy cat lady, but she goes to her place anyway. She’s just about to chicken out when Fern appears.

Meanwhile, there’s the usual shenanigans happening in the romance department. Hank and Deirdre continue to flirt. OR more like Deirdre harasses Hank constantly. He makes him get close to her desk so she can tell him she likes the lavender Post-its he picks out and that she wants to go salsa dancing. Hank swears to Timothy that he’s still really devoted to his internet girlfriend, so much so that he begins to initiate the procedures to meet her in real life. Timothy, meanwhile, has signed up for an app that is supposed to match you with your true soulmate. Evie is still firmly in the dating app world herself, and she still gets constant alerts from all her apps (including the soul mate one) much to Xavier’s chagrin. He knows he should have picked telling Evie how he feels as his tough list item to tackle, but instead, he decides to try and right the wrong he committed when he stole a friend’s baseball card as a kid.

The meeting with Fern seems to go a lot better than Evie expected it would. Fern went to grad school and traveled the world, and now she’s running an international animal rescue organization. Evie really wants to get into charity, too, so she’s kind of jealous. She’s also glad she didn’t completely ruin Fern’s life. Fern’s reaction to Evie’s apology is just to say that it was a long time ago, which Evie later realizes wasn’t true forgiveness. Fern offers to try and work out a way for Evie to work for her rescue organization, and they agree to talk it over at lunch the next day at Cybermart. Meanwhile, Xavier has made some progress on his list item, too. He has easily located the baseball card in question. There’s just one problem. It is currently on display at a sports museum, and he and Evie are going to have to steal it.

Timothy joins Hank on his mission to make contact with Hank’s internet girlfriend, who I am going to call Winnie. Hank finds an envelope with a burner phone in it, but they are quickly distracted when Timothy’s soul mate app reveals that his soulmate is Evie. Both Timothy and Evie kind of play soul mate chicken throughout the episode, both hoping the other will be the first to initiate the rejection process. Later, when they are sitting on a park bench waiting for Winnie’s latest signal that hasn’t shown up yet, Timothy accuses Hank of being catfished yet again. Hank, however, calls out Timothy for being unwilling to reject Evie on the soul mate app. It’s time for Timothy to move on, and he has been seeing Bianca from the wrestling match in the last episode, even if she is a little scary.

The baseball card theft is ultimately successful, but it doesn’t go down as Evie and Xavier planned. They’re waiting in a closet until the museum closes, so naturally they decide that sex would be a great way to pass the time. Unfortunately, they are caught by a security guard just as they are starting to take their clothes off. The security guard is willing to let them go in exchange for a make-out session with Xavier, so Xavier distracts the guard while Evie switches out the baseball card in question for a Nolan Ryan card that is actually worth a lot more. When Xavier goes to return the card to his friend, though, he learns that his friend’s housekeeper was blamed for the theft and fired. Now Xavier has yet another person he needs to apologize to.

Meanwhile, Fern hasn’t just not forgiven Evie, she’s decided to ruin her life. Deirdre informs Evie that she was being considered for her dream job in the CyberHugs division when she got a reference check call from Fern. Deirdre is very upset that Evie has been looking for another job, so CyberHugs might just be of the table. Deirdre also crashes the lunch meeting between Evie and Fern the next day and offers to give Fern a consulting gig with CyberHugs to start up an animal rescue division. The next day, Fern calls a staff meeting to present her plan, but Evie isn’t notified of the meeting. Fern later tells Evie that’s because she accidentally sent the invite to “Evil” instead of “Evie.” Guess there really has been no forgiveness after all. They eventually have a big confrontation when Fern leaves a volleyball with the note “it’s on” on Evie’s chair. Deirdre overhears the blow-up and has some choice words for Evie. Fern explains she’s working on a sporting equipment drive for CyberHugs, and she does her best to make Evie feel like an idiot.

Meanwhile, Hank is still trying to arrange a meet-up with Winnie, and Timothy still has refused to reject Evie on the soul mate app. Eventually, and Kareema’s prodding, Evie rejects Timothy, and Hank tells Timothy to take this as a sign. For Hank’s part, he does eventually meet Winnie in person, and while they click on a friend level (matching conspiracy theories and all), they don’t have romantic chemistry. Hank ends up presenting Deirdre with a Post-it bouquet of flowers and salsa dancing with her, and it was super gross. As for Timothy, the soul mate app ends up matching him with Fern next, so I guess her Single White Female-ing will continue.

Xavier goes to the house of the cleaning lady and finds out that she moved away and died several years ago. At her grave, Evie and Xavier decide words aren’t enough, and they need to put their amends into action. Deirdre offers Evie the CyberHugs job just because corporate said she had to offer it to an employee before a contractor. Evie choreographs a colorguard routine to tell Fern that she turned the job down for her. They seem to make up, but I’m not sure how long this will last. Xavier finds the cleaning lady’s daughter, who is now a therapist. She gives him forgiveness, and she also gives him good advice to put all his cards on the table with Evie. When Xavier does finally tell Evie he wants to be monogamous, she puts the phone away and says that’s what she wants too. Next thing you know, it’s sex in a blanket fort time, and all is well again.