No Tomorrow 1.04: "No Holds Barred"

“You have this way of making crazy things seem almost logical.”
-Evie

“No Holds Barred” was the first episode of “No Tomorrow” that didn’t leave me smiling at the end. Evie begins to realize the full consequences of Xavier’s completely carefree lifestyle when she finds another woman at her house, and at the same time Xavier starts to realize that he might not want to be carefree anymore when it comes to Evie. The two don’t communicate well, which is understandable considering how new their relationship is, and a typical rom com misunderstanding situation ensues. On the positive side, Xavier and Timothy meet and hang out, which is hilarious and just as awkward as you’d expect once they each realize who the other is. What’s awesome is that they really like each other until they figure out the Evie connection. Timothy is a tech writer, and Xavier loves gadgets and such, so it’s a match made in heaven. Too bad they’re fighting over the same woman. That bromance could be fun to watch longer-term.

Early in the episode, Evie is enjoying time with Xavier, but she’s still reluctant to push any of her personal boundaries. She doesn’t want to try any of the bone marrow Xavier orders (it’s on his apoca-list) at a restaurant, and when he spills hot coffee on himself and jumps in a fountain to cool off, she’s very reluctant to join him. The next day at work, Evie asks Kareema if she thinks she’s uptight. Kareema responds by playing a joke on Evie about her shirt being unbuttoned, when Evie isn’t even wearing a button-down shirt. Clearly, Evie is indeed uptight. Not as uptight is Kareema, who has the hots for a ripped Russian guy in shipping named Mikhail. When she and Evie talk with Mikhail, Mikhail mentions recent customer complaints about late orders and how it’s all fulfillment’s fault.

Evie thinks they should send a fake package to figure out where the problem is. Kareema suggests that Evie should share her idea at the morning meeting, but Evie declines, because Deirdre doesn’t like it when other people talk at meetings. Unfortunately for Evie, an intern (male, of course) blurts out Evie’s idea at the meeting, and Deirdre gives him a “boldness bonus” for it. This is the final straw for Evie, who vows to take more chances. She immediately heads to Xavier’s, informs him of her decision, and takes off her shirt while still outside. When she walks inside the house, she sees another woman seated comfortably, eating. She introduces herself as Tuesday. Clearly this relationship with Xavier isn’t what Evie thought it was.

Meanwhile, Hank and Deirdre are still fretting over whatever they’ve got going on with each other. Deirdre still hasn’t won Hank over despite her best efforts. Hank keeps trying to run away from her. When Hank and Timothy stop by a newsstand to buy a copy of the magazine in which Timothy’s article was just published, they end up making a deal with each other. Timothy will try actively hitting on women (he’s only dated women he knew through other people before) if Hank trains for his favorite television show, “American Samurai Warrior.” When Deirdre asks him about his plans, Hank just says he’s going to start working out. Deirdre offers to help him, but Hank quickly says that Mikhail is going to be the one to train him. Mikhail, however, pretty much just has Hank lift boxes. In other words, Mikhail uses Hank to do all his work for him.

Xavier tries to explain to Evie that with eight months left to live, he doesn’t want to be tied down. He hasn’t slept with Tuesday since he started seeing Evie, but he’d like to leave the option open. He’s a firm believer in “ethical non-monogomy.” Evie’s not at all happy about this, and she unsuccessfully tries to convince Kareema that she does push boundaries sometimes. Kareema invites Evie to join her “pansexual posse at the Pleather Palace” that evening, and Evie accepts to try and prove her point. She goes into a bathroom stall to cut up her shirt to look “Pleather Palace” appropriate, and she’s mortified to discover Deirdre in the next stall over. Deirdre, of course, just wants to complain again about how things with Hank aren’t going well. Evie helpfully proposes the “Mariposa theory,” where she suggests Deirdre approach Hank quietly like a butterfly because maybe then he’ll land on her.

Evie and Hank both spend the early part of their evening trying to prove they’re different than what people think they are. Evie tries her darndest to have fun at the Pleather Palace, even though it’s clearly not her scene and she’s kind of freaked out by the six shots Kareema orders for them to share. Xavier and Tuesday, meanwhile, are having drinks after naked yoga. Tuesday remarks that Xavier and Evie seem to be kind of serious, but Xavier insists he’s still the same non-monogamous free spirit as always. He even goes in to make out with Tuesday to make his point. The next morning, Evie is super proud of herself as she vomits in the toilet at work. She pushed some boundaries, and Kareema even put some dating apps on her phone.

Deirdre, however, is not doing so well in the love department. Deirdre takes the Mariposa theory too literally, and she holds out her arm to Hankn, telling him he’s safe. He scrambles off, understandably worried for his safety, and he goes back to stacking boxes for Mikhail. Deirdre sees him doing this, and she later puts the whole picture together when she hears him talking to Timothy about how he wants to train “American Samurai Warrior” style. The next day, Hank finds a Samurai course in the midst of the shelves of boxes waiting to be shipped. He goes to town and really enjoys using the course, finally succeeding at setting off the buzzer.

After letting him stew a bit, Evie gets a drink with Xavier. She tells him she’s open to pushing her personal boundaries a bit, and what do you know, Amy Brenneman shows up. A threesome with her is on Xavier’s list, and Evie knows it. Still acting like she feels kind of uncomfortable about it, Evie tells Xavier they should ask Amy for a threesome. They do so, and understandably, Amy turns them down. She does take a free drink from them, though. Evie and Xavier end up having sex to a recording of Amy (in “Judging Amy,” I presume?), and they consider that good enough for Xavier’s list. The mood is ruined a little when Evie’s phone starts ringing constantly with alerts from dating apps.

The phone is still ringing the next morning, and Evie swipes right for Mikhail of all people. Evie and Kareema talk to Mikhail at work, and he invites both of them out with him and his brother. Kareema is super enthusiastic about this and drags Evie along for the ride, even though Evie is worried she won’t live up to the party girl Mikhail thinks she is. She also feels like she’s cheating on Xavier. In the midst of all this, Evie notices there’s a huge wall of boxes between the Shipping and Fulfillment departments. It’s a major source of the tension between the two departments, because neither department will walk around the wall to talk to the other. It’s leading to many inefficiencies, and Evie decides to look into it.

Mikhail and his brother take Kareema and Evie out to wrestling, and it goes up on social media. Xavier is at a bar stewing over this when he meets none other than Timothy. Xavier loves Timothy’s column, so they bro out for a while. They start both talking about Evie without the other realizing it. Xavier does his usual thing and tries to raise Timothy’s self-esteem. Xavier invites Timothy to join him at the blood moon party. Meanwhile, at the wrestling match, Mikhail and his brother are actually wrestlers called the Python Brothers. They mention that ladies’ mud wrestling is up next, and Kareema and Evie decide to try it. They have quite a lot of fun, even being completely covered in mud.

At the blood moon party, Xavier and Timothy dance around after realizing they have probably smoked a bit much. Tuesday is there too, and she’s got a friend, which leads to the suggestion of a foursome. The group is in the hot tub, and Timothy is enjoying himself. Xavier, however, can’t go forward with it. He’s too invested in Evie. Xavier asks where people go to watch wrestling – he wants to let Evie know how he feels. Xavier and Timothy end up at the match, and they are both shocked to see Evie covered in mud. And that she’s the ex they’ve both been talking about. The whole things becomes a really awkward confrontation that Timothy eventually walks away from. He gets to make out with a waitress, so it’s not all bad for him. Evie gets upset with Xavier for ruining the date that was Xavier’s suggestion in the first place, and she walks out with the Pythons and Kareema.

As they’re leaving the match, Mikhail says he’s impressed at how many suitors Evie has been with. The Pythons suggest a five-way with the four of them and the (real) python that inspired their name, and that’s the final straw for Evie. The next day, though, Evie does something positive at work. She takes down the wall of boxes between Shipping and Fulfillment. She even offers to rewrite the quality control manual so that the wall doesn’t happen again. And the wall comes tumbling down. In the chaos, Hank thanks Mikhail for building the obstacle course, and Mikhail says he didn’t. Then Deirdre reveals herself as the obstacle course builder. She makes an impression on Hank yet again. The end of the episode, however, just made me sad. Xavier resolves to tell Evie about his feelings about how he wants to be monogamous now, but Evie kind of ruins it. She says she’s super excited to push her personal boundaries, and she’s grateful Xavier encouraged her to push herself. She wants to try dating casually now.