MTVP So Cal Summer 2016: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 1.11: "That Text Was Not Meant for Josh!"

“Who knew a little vandalism would be, like, the most amazing foreplay we had ever had?”
-Paula

Up until the season finale, I think this episode featured Rebecca’s lowest moment. In the middle of yet another of her crazy schemes, Rebecca’s efforts to explain her pretty creepy actions manage to alienate both Josh and Greg. She started the episode on good terms with both of them, and by the end of the episode, she has lost them both. On a lighter note, the episode also has some words to add to the pop culture vocabulary: textmergency and textastrophe. Both, clearly can be used to describe accidentally sending an embarrassing text to someone who don’t intend. There’s a whole song about it, and for a song that doesn’t feature any series regulars as performers, it was pretty entertaining. One would like to think that the events of this episode would make Rebecca reevaluate things, but it just really sends her into a spiral of negative self-talk. The positive change will have to wait.

At the beginning of the episode, Rebecca and Josh have another one of their chance conversations over boba. Josh mentions that he’s off to tai kwon do class, and he forgot his phone. Forgetting his phone is really making him antsy, and this will come into play later. Later that morning, Rebecca is at work beginning a mediation (or arbitration…something ADR-like), and being the consummate professional she is, she starts texting Paula about how much she loves Josh and wants them to be together. Unfortunately for Rebecca, that text goes to Josh, not Paula. She tries to signal to Paula what’s going on, which catches the attention of her opposing counsel. Paula says she’s worked with the other lawyers/legal professionals in the room for years, and she can tell them what’s going on. They are all as horrified as Rebecca and Paula are, and they offer their suggestions for how to deal with the situation. When Rebecca remembers that Josh left his phone at home, the judge offers her a police escort to Josh’s apartment so she can delete the text before he gets home.

Meanwhile, Paula and her husband Scott have decided to go to marriage counseling with Father Brah. Scott says they don’t believe in going to psychiatrists, but apparently marriage advice from someone who can never be married is cool. Father Brah does have a decent enough suggestion, though. He gives them homework to spend one evening with each other, no distractions. Paula and Scott decide to have dinner together at home (which Paula’s not especially looking forward to). Because of this commitment, Paula isn’t going to be able to help with the delete the text caper.

While the other lawyers and the judge are singing their song about textmergencies and textastrophies, Rebecca is rushed to Josh’s apartment with the police escort. She finds a hidden key to the apartment in a Buddha sconce, and she’s in. She figures out the password to Josh’s phone in a disturbingly quick amount of time (it’s Valencia’s birthday), and she successfully deletes the text. She then makes the mistake of pausing for a few seconds to smell one of Josh’s shirts. As she opens the door to leave the apartment, Josh is standing there. He is understandably wondering why Rebecca is in his apartment, and Rebecca does her best to construct a story on the fly. She says a burglar threw a rock through the glass door of her apartment, and she got so scared that she went to Josh’s apartment. Josh is all concerned, and he wants to help Rebecca clean up the glass.

Realizing that I there isn’t broken glass at her apartment when Josh gets there, it’s going to be a problem, Rebecca makes an emergency phone call to Paula. She needs glass broken, pronto. At first, Scott is upset that Paula took the call and is now saying she has to go somewhere. He thinks she’s been having an affair. Paula swears she hasn’t been, and she tells Scott that he can join her on what she’s about to do if he would like. Scott is all-in on the break glass at Rebecca’s apartment mission. He goes into Rebecca’s house to use the bathroom, and when he returns, he has what looks like the perfect rock to use to break the sliding glass door (Paula had been having trouble finding any rock at all). Scott throws the rock, the whole door shatters, and the two make a run for it just in time. The escapade brings Paula and Scott closer together again, and as Paula later tells Rebecca, Rebecca just might have saved her marriage.

Rebecca and Josh arrive at Rebecca’s house, and Rebecca is shocked to see just how bad the damage is. Everything is going well – Rebecca pours a glass of wine and orders some take-out fondue (telling Josh she needs to relax), and Josh is happy to join her for the evening. Then he finds the culprit rock and realizes that it’s part of a set of three decorative rocks Rebecca keeps on her coffee table. Realizing that the whole story makes absolutely no sense, and freaking out that Rebecca has been telling him lie after lie all day, he walks out, leaving Rebecca sitting among the broken shards of glass. She sings a song that is a “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” classic, “(You Ruined Everything) You Stupid Bitch.” It’s basically negative self-talk in musical form, and for those of us who are anxious types that constantly evaluate what others think of us, it’s pretty accurate and heartbreaking.

Greg always leaves Heather’s apartment via Rachel’s backyard, and when he sees her sitting among the glass, he immediately asks what’s wrong and tries to come to the rescue. He hugs Rebecca and says of course he’ll stay with her for a little while (she doesn’t want to be alone). He even starts sweeping up the glass. Then he notices the fondue bag with “Josh” written on it and a wine glass with ice in it (“a classic Chan move”), and he realizes that once again Josh is the source of Rebecca’s distress. Greg walks out on Rebecca once again. The next morning, all Rebecca has is Paula, who praises Rebecca for saving her marriage and says that she’ll help make things with Josh okay again. If only Paula wasn’t such an enabler of Rebecca’s worst instincts, I’d say it’s great she’s such a good friend.