Galavant 2.08: "Do the D'DEW"

“Prophesy’s never wrong. That’s just science!”
-Madalena

“Dew the D’DEW” was really all about love, and it was very entertaining at the same time, if also a bit disturbing. But much of my favorite television is a bit disturbing/macabre with a colorful, entertaining candy coating, so this was right up my alley. I once had a high school classmate call a project I was working on “cutesy sadistic,” so I guess that about sums up my taste! We had Galavant continuing his quest to fight for Isabella’s love. Roberta and Richard found love and lost it again. Madalena has taken a step that will make her likely to lose Gareth’s love, but Gareth doesn’t realize that yet. Oh, and Madalena and Isabella have the vocal catfight we’ve all been waiting for! (Speaking of, if you like quirky things like Galavant and you like singing catfights, check out the webseries “Muzzled the Musical.” You won’t regret it).

Early in the episode, after realizing that Hortensia has no real weapons and Madalena and Gareth’s army is rapidly approaching, Isabella takes the Jester with her to try and negotiate terms of surrender. Madalena and Gareth have started this war due to their mutual love of bloodshed, however, so the whole surrender thing clearly isn’t going to go over well. Madelena offers terms, but they’re not terms Isabella could ever agree to. Madalena basically wants to subjugate all of Hortensia and make Isabella her personal handmaiden. They sing an awesome song (made a little less awesome by the guys in the room gleefully yelling “catfight!” prior to the singing of it) about how much they hate each other. Madalena points out all the advantages she’s got compared to the rag tag Hortensians, and letting her emotions get the better of her, Isabella says she’s got the bearer of the One True Sword on her side. She doesn’t realize that she probably will have him on her side in time for the battle, so she’s thinking she’s probably screwed now.

Galavant, Richard, Roberta, and the zombie army arrive in Valencia and find the place pretty much abandoned. There’s a note on the door of the castle saying everyone has gone to invade Hortensia. More importantly, though Roberta and Richard take a little detour behind a tree. Following their rendezvous, Richard and Roberta sing what is pretty much a blatant “Summer Nights” rip-off about their time together, complete with zombie backup. Richard and Roberta’s happiness is short-lived, though. Roberta is convinced that Richard will get himself killed if he goes into battle for real (instead of just watching in a comfy chair from a distance), and she loves him too much to see him go through the horrors of war. Richard has made up his mind, though. He’s going to continue fighting with Galavant. Richard and Roberta break up, and Roberta resigns herself to a future on Spinster Island with a lot of cats.

Even though it’s highly likely that Isabella was just exaggerating, Madalena is very concerned about the possibility that Isabella might actually have the bearer of the One True Sword on her side. Prophesy, as she says in the Quote of the Episode, after all, is science, and there’s a prophesy that says the person who pulls the sword out of the stump (which Richard did) will unite all the kingdoms. Gareth tries to allay Madalena’s fears, because he’s confident he can easily win a battle against the Hortensians, but Madalena is still nervous. Wormwood has just the answer. He’s a practitioner of D’DEW (the “Dark, Dark Evil Way,” a form of dark magic so terrible it has two “darks” in the name), and he is willing to teach Madalena, too. Gareth begs Madalena not to turn to dark magic, and Madalena agrees, but then she meets with Wormwood anyway. She’s so ruthless she’s willing to kill the baby Wormwood his holding (he was just babysitting) in order to get the D’DEW power. To her chagrin, Wormwood tells her that all she has to do is sign a contract. Madalena is all ready to sign the thing in blood, but again to her disappointment (I think), Wormwood has a quill at the ready. Near the end of the episode, when all the Valencian troops are lined up, ready for battle, Madalena’s eyes briefly glow red. She tries to play it off as no big, deal, but I don’t think this can end well at all.

Meanwhile, it’s Isabella who should really be worrying. She has turned down Madalena’s terms of surrender, and she is going to have to prepare for battle. She doesn’t have any hope of obtaining the One True Sword at the moment, and all of Hortensia’s conventional weapons are either toys or made of chocolate. She asks the townsfolk to gather together anything that could be used as a weapon. About the best thing anybody can come up with is a rather pointy potato. It’s a wonder, really, that Hortensia wasn’t invaded long, long ago.

Galavant isn’t feeling especially confident, either. His zombie army can’t do much more than just shamble along, groaning. They can’t even avoid just running into trees. Galavant laments that he might not be able to save his love, Isabella, and the zombies suddently become a bit more animated. Galavant asks if they’ll help him for love, and the zombies start doing what he asks of him. Who would have thought that zombies would be motivated by love? Well, I guess it’s conceivable if you’ve seen “Warm Bodies,” but it was a pretty quick turn for “Galavant.” “Galavant” is nothing if not quirky, though, so it worked for me. I was glad to see that Galavant will have a functioning army as he heads into the Battle of the Three Armies. Do I wish Isabella had a functioning army, too? Sure, although her lack of an army is far from her fault. I’m just glad somebody’s going to be in a position to check Madalena and Wormwood before they can do too much damage.