New Girl 4.21: "Panty Gate"

“Can any other sperm sport this much green and still look dope? No, that ain’t tight!”
-Coach

In the penultimate season 4 episode of “New Girl,” it became clear exactly how the creative team was going to write Daymon Wayans, Jr. off the show (again). We’ve known that Coach wasn’t sticking around past this season for a while, but until “Panty Gate,” we didn’t know exactly how the character would be leaving. Now we know that it’s all for the love of May. Which is an interesting twist considering what we know of Coach’s romantic past. Actually, if I remember right, he left the apartment to move in with a woman the last time, too. This time, however, it’s supposed to be different than all those other times Coach fell hard and then the relationship fizzled out. What I really liked about this episode, since I wasn’t all that invested in the Coach and May storyline, was that Schmidt finally, finally stood up for himself with Fawn. And it was about time!

We begin the episode with the roomies looking on from a distance as Coach and May seem to be having an argument. Jess, at least, firmly believes they are having an argument. Winston just wants to get his toaster waffle from the kitchen, but he’s afraid to interrupt. After May leaves, Coach says that he and May weren’t fighting, but they are breaking up. May is moving to New York City for a great new job with the Met, and the long distance thing doesn’t make much sense considering they’ve only been together a few months. Jess is convinced there are actually deeper feelings between Coach and May, and her nagging about this will drive most of the rest of the episode. Jess feels a bit vindicated when, at school, Coach has a bit of a breakdown while teaching Health class. He starts to talk about eggs moving far away from the sperm and such. Jess sees this all play out, and it makes her more determined to meddle.

The other main plot in this episode involves the never-ending drama of Cece and Schmidt. Schmidt is at the bar talking with Cece, and she starts to pry about his relationship with Fawn post-“Panty Gate.” Schmidt says that the very public scandal has made them a better team than ever, and he’s really excited about where their relationship is headed. They have a joint press conference coming up, and he’s all-in as far as supporting his woman. Cece, understandably, is a bit mopey about this. And all is not as well with Fawn and Schmidt as Schmidt originally made it seem. Schmidt wanted to improvise at the press conference, but Fawn gives him a statement to read. Schmidt insists on not reading the statement before he actually has to speak to the press. When he does start reading the statement, he’s kind of horrified. The statement basically has him take the blame for Fawn wearing no panties, and it ends with apologizing to Jesus (which I can imagine Schmidt doesn’t appreciate considering he’s Jewish). This just made me sigh, because it shows again that Fawn has no respect for Schmidt as a human being.

Back at the loft, Nick and Winston are all dressed up in fancy shirts because they’re planning to take Coach out to help him get over the break-up with May. Jess thinks Coach is going to be too upset over the break-up to party, but she’s wrong. Coach puts on an enthusiastic front and decides to go to the bar with the guys. With the guys all out, Cece stops by the loft to talk to Jess. She’s been reading a book about a woman finding herself through mountain climbing, and she has decided she wants to climb Mt. Shasta. She wants to both find herself and get away from the Schmidt and Fawn show for a little while. Jess isn’t really paying attention to Cece. She talks about how she’s a “love doctor” and thinks May and Coach are really upset over their break-up. May stops by the loft for her endpin holder (although I’m surprised she didn’t have the type that connects to your chair), and Jess says she’s there to talk if she needs to. May leaves, but then in a few seconds, she knocks on the door again. Jess convinces her it would be a great idea to ask Coach to move with her to New York.

Schmidt confronts Fawn about the press conference, but Fawn mollifies him by saying they will go back to “normal” soon. And she promises sex. First, however, there’s a photo op at a department store, where Fawn is supposed to be buying some panties. Schmidt is playing along until Fawn takes things to far (finally). She tells Schmidt that he’s supposed to storm out because he can’t stand being around panties, enter rehab, and then marry her. Schmidt balks at the prospect of marrying Fawn (thank the Lord). He says that he really wants to be in love, and he breaks up with her. He does, however, tell Fawn that she’ll always have her vote, and he does the can’t stand panties storm-out as a final gesture of goodwill.

At the bar, things are getting kind of rowdy. Coach is very drunk, and lots of girls are dancing all over him. Of course, this is when Jess and Cece (mostly Jess) decide to bring May to the bar to have her tell Coach how she feels. She is not at all happy with what she finds, and she leaves. Jess tries to give Coach an apology beer, but it doesn’t really help. He didn’t want things with May to end like this. Jess realizes that maybe she isn’t quite the “love doctor” she thought she was, and she encourages Cece to go climb that mountain and not take her relationship advice anymore. Jess then apologizes to Coach and gets him to admit he loves May. Nick follows this up with some surprisingly astute advice. He basically asks Coach if May is the person he pictures himself when they are old. Coach says yes, and he decides he wants to move to New York.

Coach (with Nick and Jess in tow) goes to the recording studio to talk to May. Nick and Jess watch from the recording booth and are kind of awkward/adorable with each other. You can see them starting to circle each other again (they kind of implied that they see themselves with each other when they are old), but who knows when they will actually get back together. Anyway, the upshot of the Coach and May heart-to-heart is that they are going to move to New York together. So Coach will, once again, leave the loft. We end the episode with all the roomies on the couch in the loft together, being goofy. I think Coach realizes he’s going to miss this, but it’s more important to follow his heart.