“It isn’t physical. It’s moral. All the dark deeds I’ve done are finally taking their toll. They’ve poisoned my heart.”
- Mr. Gold
So when I heard this episode would feature Robin, I got very excited. As anyone who reads this blog knows, I’m a huge Outlaw Queen shipper. And while we don’t get to see them together quite yet, I really enjoyed the episode. We pick up right where we left off last week. The Charmings are chasing after the Author and have enough time to stop and argue about David and Mary Margaret lying to Emma. She kind of has this dead look in her eyes but I’m sure she won’t actually go dark. Anyway, they lose the Author when he runs into Rumple. It seems Rumple is rather persuasive for the creepy fellow. Oh and Regina finally wakes up. Rumple taunts her with Robin’s phone number and tells her to call him.
We briefly jump back to the Enchanted Forest where Robin and Marian are married and running a tavern (perhaps the same one Regina saw him in?). The sheriff pops by the issue a tax notice and gives Robin two days to get the money together. I guess in any retelling of this story, the sheriff wants to get his grubby mitts on Marian. Anyway, it seems Robin will have an opportunity to get that money by helping Rumple steal the Elixir of the Wounded Heart from Oz. Joy, Zelena’s back. On the plus side, we get to see Robin and Will’s first meeting which just happens to be in Oz. They team up to get the Elixir. Well Robin promises to get some of the Elixir for Will. Unfortunately, Robin gets caught by Zelena and only has time to get one vial of the stuff. He lies to Will about what he got which I’m guessing doesn’t do much for their future relationship. But it seems Robin has a change of heart when he hears Will’s story of his sister who died and he slips the potion into Will’s pocket. When Robin gets back to the Enchanted Forest, we see the birth of the real outlaw Robin Hood. He gets his boys together and they take money from the sheriff and end up going on the run. Robin seems thrilled to be a hero (he claims that a thief who steals for himself is a criminal but one who steals for others is a hero) and have Marian at his side. I was honestly expecting her to say she was pregnant. But we did finally get an explanation of why we had a different actor portray the character in season 1. He stole a necklace from Zelena that allows him to look like anyone else.
We also flash back to 9 weeks earlier when Robin and his family left Storybrooke. They end up in New York because everyone seems to end up there and after Robin does some daring heroics by chasing after a guy who stole Marian’s purse, we get a really amusing interaction with him and Rumple. It seems that everyone is ending up at Neal’s apartment (does no one wonder whether his lease is still good and who is going to pay rent?). After a bit of a shouting match where Robin firmly lays claim to the place, Rumple collapses. At the hospital, 6the doctors say Rumple had a heart attack but he knows better. His dark deeds have poisoned his heart (emotional wounds) and so he needs to find the Elixir. He thinks some is in New York and he uses Robin’s honor and code to strong arm our thief into helping him. Rumple sends Rumple to steal from Walsh’s shop. And of course, Robin nearly gets nabbed by the cops but he does find the Elixir and gets home to Roland and Marian. But this of course leads to Marian calling Robin on helping Rumple. I mean really he is kind of a serious jackass. But Robin refuses to let even him die. Plus I mean he is Henry’s grandfather. And I have come to realize this is all a giant dysfunctional family drama.
Robin brings the vial to Rumple at the hospital but it turns out it doesn’t work. It was cough medicine and Marian shows up and reveals that she is in fact Zelena. Which honestly just pisses me off to no end! She does a bit of exposition where she explains her essence when back in time with Emma and she killed Marian and took her place just to screw with Regina. And now she watches Rumple code and is quite happy that she managed to deny him his vengeance for Neal’s death. I’m so over her, honestly. The doctors manage to save Rumple and Zelena also strong arms him into agreeing to get Zelena her happy ending. Once out of the hospital, Rumple finds Robin waiting for him with a box of Neal’s things. Rumple declines because he doesn’t want a reminder of the happiness he couldn’t hold on to. He gives Robin some advice about love and I’m worried it means Robin is going to go back to fake Marian. And yes, my bad feeling was right. He goes home (and after a brief shower scene that was kind of hot…of just Robin showering) he recommits to fake Marian, believing it to be the real deal.
Back in the present, Regina makes the call but gets Zelena and it’s just awful to see Regina’s heart break to know her true love is in the clutches of her bitchy sister. I am seriously over Zelena and her drama and feeling of inadequacy. She is just so boring to me. I was more interested in seeing Maleficent and everything going forward. But it does seem that Regina choose Emma over Robin when Rumple declares that he is going to use Regina to turn Emma. It seems that Regina has enough goodness in her to want to protect the Savior (I guess they need one of Henry’s moms to not be evil). I really hope the writers resolve all this nonsense by the end of the season because I’m tired of Regina getting dumped on and even more tired of all the stupid roadblocks in Outlaw Queen’s relationship. Why can’t they toss some of them in Emma and Hook’s way?
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