Selfie 1.05: "Even Hell has Two Bars"

“You’re overthinking it, don’t overthink it. Just have fun.”
- Eliza

So we are continuing our whacky journey with Eliza and Henry. We find Henry practicing a speech about a lozenge when Saperstein’s son-in-law (who is kind of obnoxious) shows up with a fancy invitation for Henry. Henry freaks out and get super excited that he’s been invited to Saperstein’s ranch for some schmoozing. He says only those who he is eying for executive level promotion get invited. So naturally, Henry goes to cancel his work session with Eliza. She’s doing weird eyebrow exercises and listening to music on her phone. Henry tries to explain here he’s going but Eliza interrupts saying she got an envelope, too. Henry doesn’t believe that Saperstein would be eying her for a promotion which then leads into a rather ridiculous dance scene with Eliza trying to show that no one can avoid looking at her when she leaves a room. It was kind of over the top to be honest and I kept wondering if she was wearing multi-colored and patterned leggings under her leather mini skirt or not. Anyway, Henry believes Eliza was invited as his plus one (since it is obvious that Saperstein thinks they should be a couple). So as they head to the event dressed in oddly 40s era clothes, Eliza rattles off all the parties she was invited to or went to where she was not a plus one. She insists that she is always the one who gets to bring the plus one, not the other way around. Henry apologizes for his assumption but it looks like his assessment was right because Saperstein approaches their horse-drawn carriage (yeah, this guy is so bizarre) and points out Henry as the man of the hour and Eliza as the plus one. Ouch.

Eliza wants to go home but Henry begs her to stay so his chances of promotion don’t go down the toilet. Saperstein is really going all out with all kinds of spa treatments and weird gift baskets. Henry is trying to suck up to Saperstein by remarking on the history of the house but all Eliza can do is whine about the serious lack of Wi-Fi. As Eliza settles in for the evening (and Henry gets the creepy sex room with a painting of Saperstein and his wife having sex), Henry explains his plan to win everyone over. He’s going to woo and self-deprecate and wax poetic with anecdotes. Eliza is trying to decide whether to order bacon or waffles the following morning from room service to make her room smell like breakfast. Honestly, I don’t know why she wouldn’t just eat it but whatever.

Henry tries to implement his wooing plan at breakfast but it’s obvious everyone is bored out of their minds (everyone being Saperstein, his wife, their daughter and son-in-law). It seems that everyone just wants to chill and have fun for the weekend. Eliza pops down fashionably late in a bathing suit and says all she wants to do is veg by the pool and drink out of a pineapple. Henry expects there to be horseback riding and he’s all dressed for it. But everyone else decides hanging by the pool is far more enjoyable. So Henry is sitting there in his full riding gear panicking that things aren’t going well. Eliza tries to stay behind and let Henry take the lead but she suggests she goes Oprah searching (she apparently has a ranch nearby) and yet again everyone gloms onto her idea. She did go off on a bit of a rant about how people tend to follow her lead (including the First Lady). So as they head to the lake in search of Oprah, Eliza tells Henry to do something fun to show Saperstein that he’s capable of not just being so focused about work. This comes after Saperstein basically tells Henry to shut up and listen to birds mating. Their boss really is weird.

Unfortunately for Henry, he chooses to jump in the lake naked as his “fun” thing just after the Sapersteins explain to Eliza that Mrs. Saperstein saved the lake and nothing man-made (or anything really at all) had been in the lake in a really long time. Oops. Henry thinks he’s blown it and he blames Eliza for ruining his weekend and his chance at a promotion. She says she was only trying to help and storms out. But it turns out she was helping. Henry goes down to dinner late and disheveled and he admits to Saperstein that he doesn’t do well when things don’t go according to plan. He unravels quite spectacularly when pushed to those lengths. But that is what Saperstein wanted to see, the vulnerable guy underneath the perfectionist. So the weekend was a success after all. Henry gets his promotion and he realizes he needs to apologize to Eliza (oh and he definitely tells Saperstein that Eliza is VIP bitches). He tries calling out to Eliza when he spots her outside but she’s not listening to he literally mounts a horse and rides out to her. It’s kind of romantic and you can totally feel the tension until he tells her that her friendship and his job are tied for importance in his life. The moment is quickly over though when the signal comes back on (I’m guessing Saperstein just shut it down to get them to do what he wanted). They end up taking a cute picture together and Eliza goes home to screw her office boyfriend. She says she’s going to delete the photo of her and Henry since it didn’t get any likes but as they’re fooling around Henry likes it. How sweet. We end with Saperstein jumping in the lake naked. Yeah, didn’t really need to see that one honestly.

Overall this episode wasn’t one of my all-time favorites but I do think it gave us a much needed insight into Henry’s flaws and how Eliza is actually helping him start to fix some things about himself.