“You’re wasting your time, Voldemort. I’m just as much a part of this Warehouse as you are and it won’t let you kill me.”
- Claudia
Well folks, it is the beginning of the end. In case you didn’t know, “Warehouse 13” was given a brief 6-episode final season to wrap its run. And so I am going to be covering the final season for you. When last we left our heroic band of Warehouse agents, Paracelsus (Tony Head) had taken control of the Warehouse and Claudia is facing off against him. Oh, and Myka is in recovery after her surgery for her ovarian cancer. Claudia and Paracelsus face off and at first they can’t really hurt each other. Then Claudia has to go and taunt him about it and he realizes that since she is part of the Warehouse, he can control her. Oops! He makes her show him some of her memories about the Warehouse in recent years and then sets her to finding various artifacts for some nefarious plot he’s got going.
Outside, Steve and Artie are trying to get past the giant shield but they aren’t having much luck. Steve drives a car covered in neutralization goo but it just dents the hood of the car. Then they try to short it out and Steve just gets tossed like 50 feet. Thankfully Myka and Pete show up with some useful information. Oh and she didn’t actually have cancer (yay). She apparently reads all the addendums the Regents put out for the manual and they created a failsafe for the shield so that it allows them to get into the Warehouse without Paracelsus knowing the shield is going wonky. Once they get inside, Pete and Steve go into distraction mode so that Artie and Myka can go disconnect Paracelsus from the Warehouse. Artie also instructs Pete and Steve to get the arrow that killed Achilles. Diversion away! Of course, he sends controlled Claudia to try and kill her friends. It gets progressively funnier as she keeps warning the guys what the artifacts do. Luckily, she is kind of a bad shot. Elsewhere, Artie and Myka end up reigniting the fires in the weird symbol room which severs the link between Paracelsus and the Warehouse. He gets huffy for all of two seconds before he gets back to building what ends up being a time machine. That Claudia helped build. The gang gets to the machine just in time for Pete to fire the arrow (and miss) and Paracelsus to jump back in time.
Thanks to some timey-wimey artifacts, the gang remains intact as the world and the Warehouse changes around them. When the new Warehouse 13 appears, we see that Paracelsus has been caretaker for the last five centuries and he’s focused on the pursuits of science and combining artifacts at the expense of everything else. Pete and Claudia head off the hub to try and find where he went back to and fix it and we see a cameo by the always lovely Mark Shepard. Last we saw of him, he died breaking into Warehouse 12. Now he’s using freaky mind control artifacts to create Borg-like super soldiers. Great. Artie, Myka and Steve manage to find the time travel device and are on their way to gather the other artifacts when they happen upon experimentation with artifacts. It is really upsetting to Artie because it reminds him of stories his parents told about World War II and concentration camps. Myka tries to get him to think positive. They’re going to get the Warehouse back from Paracelsus and set things right.
Claudia and Pete get too the hub and we learn that it’s being powered in part by Abigail (who I will admit I completely forgot about since season 4 ended). It’s not that important though because they manage to get the date that Paracelsus went back to. The gang reconvenes and gets the portal open so Pete and Myka can go back in time and stop Paracelsus. Artie goes to distract the guards and Steve is charged with keeping the portal open. Of course, Claudia has to off and eventually rescue Artie. But first, he gets caught and we get yet more cameos from Hugo (Hi there Odo) and Vanessa (Artie’s doctor girlfriend). They are clearly scared of their boss and it turns out they are married and have children that Paracelsus is keeping to make them do what he wants. Claudia eventually pops in and knocks them out but she gets captured, too.
Back at Warehouse 9, Pete and Myka encounter Lisa Da Vinci, Leonardo’s granddaughter played by Rebecca Mader. She’s not nearly as annoying as Zelena, let me tell you. After using some nifty artifacts, she learns that Paracelsus went back and killed all the guards on the day he was bronzed and he also goes after the Regents with the intent of murdering them. Our heroes hightail it over to an actual olive garden where the Regents are trying to decide on a new Caretaker. Paracelsus shows up and nearly kills them with the tusk of an elephant that was strangled by a boa constrictor. Lisa is quick enough to call a giant purple bird that retrieves artifacts and saves the Regents. But now it’s a race back to the Warehouse to stop Paracelsus from linking up with the Warehouse again. They get back and Pete ends up taking him down with a scalpel. Myka overhears him saying that Paracelsus lied about Myka dying. I guess now she knows the lengths to which he’d go to save her life.
In the alternate future, Artie and Claudia almost unleash Alice from the mirror but luckily, Pete and Myka do their job and things start to revert back to the way there were. Claudia is still peeved at Artie for not telling her that her sister Claire was still alive until the end of season 4. Apparently Claudia and Joshua thought she died in the car accident that killed their parents. Luckily, with Paracelsus bronzed again, Mrs. Frederick (whom we barely saw this episode) is linked back with the Warehouse. However, it’s not all rainbows and puppies because Claudia says she has this feeling that something’s coming and it’s both good and bad. Ominous, much? Pete and Myka have a moment about him possibly using artifacts to save her life and then we find Artie putting away the artifacts that they used to keep themselves grounded in the alternate universe. There should be twelve but there’s only eleven. Before we cut to black, we see that Mark Shepard’s character has the remaining artifact and he’s crossed over from the other time line. I’m guessing he has something to do with Claudia’s confused feeling.
I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed the cameos by so of our favorite guest starts. The writers obviously know this is the final run of episodes and they are trying to tie things up while giving the fans a good time. I can’t wait to see what happens in the remaining five episodes and how mark fits in. Because who doesn’t love Mark being his snarky quasi-evil self?
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