Trophy Wife 1.16: "The Wedding: Part 1"

“Kate, will you marry me? Again? In front of people?”
-Pete

This was the first of a two-part episode of “Trophy Wife” centering around Pete and Kate renewing their vows. In a way, all of the Harrison women strengthen their respective relationships in this one, and I guess that is what really ties the whole episode together. It’s all about love. Oh, and while we’re at it, the creative team throws in the threat of deportation to make things a little more exciting. I’m pretty sure it’s been mentioned before that Kate is Canadian, but it was a huge plot point in this episode. The vow renewal itself will have to wait until the next episode. This episode was entertaining enough on the whole, but I’m expecting that the vow renewal will be even more hilarious. I mean really, is deportation to Canada really all that bad a thing? I mean, yeah, it’s cold, but it seems like a friendly enough country.

This episode opens with Kate cleaning out the garage with a vengeance. She wants to give a lot of Pete’s old stuff to Goodwill. When Pete gets home from work, he sees his stuff out on the lawn, and having been divorced twice before, he automatically assumes the worst. He’s happy that all that is happening is the trip to Goodwill. He is a little miffed, however, that so much of his stuff is being given away while Kate gets to keep her “Kiss Me, I’m Canadian” t-shirt. Among all the junk in the garage, Kate comes across some VHS tapes. Meg and her odd boyfriend still have a VCR player (I do too, so I guess I shouldn’t judge), so Meg pays them a visit to watch the tapes.

The tapes that Kate watches at Meg’s place are Pete’s wedding videos from his weddings to Diane and Jackie. The wedding to Diane was mid-90’s tastic, with a break so everyone could watch the now iconic O.J. Simpson white Bronco chase. Diane had the most ridiculous sparkly headpiece, and in her vows, she droned on about how Pete was her “perfect imperfection.” Pete and Jackie’s wedding was as crunchy and free spirited as you would expect. All I really need to say about it is that Pete played the bongos. These videos are kind of embarrassing and adorable at the same time. Kate is kind of jealous of all the love that she sees on the videos. She and Pete eloped (with Meg as a witness) and the festivities basically consisted of a courthouse wedding and “big sandwiches” afterwards.

Meanwhile, Jackie is still dating “Sad Steve,” and she’s struggling with when and how to introduce him to Bert (who we know doesn’t love the idea of his mom dating). Pete thinks Jackie should just go ahead and tell Bert the truth. Jackie kind of drags out eventually getting to the truth. First she tries to tell Bert that Sad Steve is a bagel salesman, then she tries to come up with another excuse the next time he comes over. Sad Steve seems a bit frustrated over all of this. Eventually, Bert finds out the truth, and he doesn’t take it well. He won’t even let Sad Steve into the house (although he does give Sad Steve some candy to try and make him less sad). What finally turns Bert around is Sad Steve’s awesome convertible. Bert thinks the car is great, and he likes Sad Steve even more when he lets Bert push the button that controls the convertible top.

Kate tells Pete about her regret over not having a “real” wedding, and Pete responds the best way he can. He asks Kate to marry him again. They’re going to have a “real” wedding vow renewal. Meg and Hillary are going to be the Maids of Honor, and Warren and Bert are going to be the Best Men. All are very enthusiastic about participating (Bert especially), but there’s some drama between Meg and Hillary. Both feel like they should take the lead in the planning. Kate tries to keep the peace by taking both Meg and Hillary with her to apply for her official name change. Kate wants to be an official Harrison. There’s just one small problem. The clerk tells Kate that she’s in the United States illegally. Kate says she applied for permanent residency when she got married, but the clerk says she needs to have an ICE interview right away to assess the validity of the marriage if she doesn’t want to be deported. On the men’s side, Warren and Bert discover that their family doesn’t actually have Scottish heritage as Pete claimed. They’re Flemish. They finally tell Pete, who isn’t all that phased. He still maintains that Harrison men have legs meant for wearing kilts.

Jackie revealing her relationship with Sad Steve makes Diane think that maybe she and Russ Bradley Morrison should go public. They decide to test things out with a park date, and they discover that they are more different than they originally thought. Diane’s idea of a fun park date is target practice. Russ’ idea of a fun park date is a picnic with fancy soft cheeses. They also (gasp! horror!) disagree about where the best seats at the opera are located. Diane worries that such differences are insurmountable, and her worry grows when Russ doesn’t call her for several days. Kate suggests that maybe Diane should call Russ, and what do you know, it works like a charm. Russ even buys them opera tickets in the Mezzanine, a compromise location.

Kate is seriously freaked out about the ICE interview. She and Pete try to act as normal and suburban as possible. When the ICE examiner arrives, they act so stereotypical that it would really be enough to raise suspicion. It doesn’t help that they’re having trouble answering the examiner’s questions. Things get weird when Diane comes over, then Jackie. Pete and Kate are worried that the examiner is going to think that Pete has some weird polygamous harem thing going on, but that isn’t the case. She can see that Pete and Kate’s marriage isn’t a marriage of convenience, because having to deal with two ex-wives and three step children is anything but convenient. Especially when it’s Diane and Jackie. So Kate gets to keep her residency, and the big vow renewal is back on. Pete and Kate go to the airport to pick up Kate’s mom, and we learn that Kate’s mom is pretty much crazy. And she’s played by Megan Mullally. Which is pretty awesome.