Trophy Wife 1.07: "The Date"

“Between the hipsters and the lawyers, I can't tell if the Polo shirts are ironic or if the mustaches are sincere.”
-Pete

“The Date” was a rather fun episode of “Trophy Wife,” where we again explore the boundary issues between Pete and his exes. If I were Kate, I would have flown off the handle about Diane and Jackie constantly showing up long, long ago. I suppose she knew what she was getting into moving into the Harrison family, though, as she met Diane, Jackie and all the kids on the same evening she first met Pete. I guess Kate just has a lot more patience than I do. Kate and Pete try to throw a party for their friends, but it ends up being crashed by both Diane and Jackie. There are some temporary consequences for both of them, but given the nature of the word temporary, the consequences don’t stick. By the end of the episode, Jackie has a new boyfriend and Diane has shown her supremacy at beer pong of all things. Who would have thought?

In this episode, we learn that Kate and Pete have been hosting a ton of parties for the kids lately. There was even a party for Warren and his one friend. It is understandably exhausting for Pete and Kate, and Kate thinks that the remedy is to host their own, grown-up party for their friends. Although something tells me Pete and Kate’s idea of a grown-up party is probably a bit different. Although, maybe that isn’t true, considering they both seem pretty happy at the college reenactment beer pong fest that later ensues. Anyway, the most important component of this party is the lack of exes. Pete calls Jackie and asks her to watch Bert. Jackie agrees, then promptly calls Diane and asks her to watch Bert, because she (Jackie) has just been invited to a party. So that plan was foiled in record time!

Meanwhile, Diane and the kids are having a fairly quiet evening in. Diane and Hillary are working on Hillary’s French studying (because neither of Diane’s kids are capable of succeeding academically without Diane watching them like a hawk, apparently). Warren and Bert are working on a YouTube show they want to do where they review gum. Diane doesn’t approve of this, naturally, and she lists all the bad health consequences of chewing gum. She cares more about making sure Hillary does her math homework, though, so when Hillary says she left the book at Pete and Kate’s house, Diane is on her way there too. Not only are Pete and Kate going to have one ex there. Both of them are going to be there.

Before the exes arrive, the party is going great. Pete and Kate are shocked at how well their friends are getting along, considering the age gap and the fact that they both kind of come from different walks of life. I guess booze brings everyone together? Anyway, Jackie invades pretty quickly and starts making mangotinis (which actually doesn’t sound half bad), and Diane’s not far behind her. Both of them end up having kind of a wild night. I’m surprised Pete and Kate didn’t just kick them both out. I guess they wanted to stay civil for the sake of the kids? That’s the only good reason I can think of for allowing such obnoxious people to stick around. As the night is winding down, Pete and Kate hear people having sex in Pete’s office. They assume it is Meg and Pete’s coworker Steve because Meg has been flirting with Steve all night. Steve is involved, alright, but Meg is not. Steve and Jackie are having sex, which is really even worse.

The next day, Pete and Kate have quite a mess to clean up. They are trying to thoroughly disinfect Pete’s office because the idea of Jackie and Steve having sex in their just disgusts them. Then at work, Steve tries to talk to Pete about what happened. Pete doesn’t really want to talk about it, and he lets Steve mutter on about how since Pete is his boss, it probably isn’t appropriate for him to keep seeing Jackie. Pete agrees with this until Steve starts talking about how if he was dating Jackie, he’d love to take her away on really long vacations with the 100+ sick days he’s accrued. Pete perks up at the idea of Jackie going away for long stretches of time. Kate had been trying to convince Jackie to stay away from Steve, but as soon as Pete calls her and brings up the vacation aspect, Kate changes her strategy.

At Diane’s house, Hillary has some interesting news. There’s a rather unflattering photo of Diane on Instagram with the caption #DrunkMom. Diane begs Hillary to take the photo down, but Hillary can’t, since it wasn’t her doing. The photo is on Meg’s account. Diane still tells Hillary to fix it, but that’s not really a possibility. This leads Diane to seek out Meg herself at the bar where Meg works. Diane tries to make as many disparaging comments as possible about how unsanitary the bar is, but she still ends up challenging Meg to a game of beer pong. Meg is surprised to find out that Diane is something of an expert at the game. At one point, it looks like Meg won, but then Meg passes out, so Diane wins. She’s ridiculously proud of herself.

While their mom/stepmom is getting sloshed, the kids are still working on the internet gum show. Hillary sees Warren and Bert taping an episode, and she says that if they make her an executive producer, she’ll guarantee triple the views. When she sees they’ve only had three views so far, she’s even more confident. The show gets a name – “Blow This with Warren and Bert.” Which I found pretty hilarious. We see the first taping with Hillary at the helm, and it really is much more polished. Views go through the roof, and Warren and Bert even have dating offers from the gig. Hillary wants in on the action, so she asks to have her own segment. It isn’t asking so much as telling considering she’s an executive producer and all. They do a Hillary segment, but Warren makes sure the camera isn’t working for it.

Pete and Kate’s solution to the Jackie and Steve problem is a double date. Kate tries to give Jackie some pointers beforehand about toning things down and respecting boundaries, but of course that results in the beginning of the date being a disaster. Jackie goes way too far trying to be “coy and mysterious.” Eventually, she just can’t take it, and she rushes off to the bathroom. Kate gives Jackie another pep talk, this time saying that she should probably just be herself. While Kate finds the true Jackie annoying, she reminds Jackie that Steve probably doesn’t, or he wouldn’t have slept with her. When Jackie starts acting like herself again, things are much better, and it turns out that she and Steve kind of have matching neuroses and quirks. Pete and Kate leave them to enjoy the rest of their date by themselves.