New Girl 2.10: "Bathtub"

“Took my suits, left the douchebag jar. Typical methhead.”
-Schmidt

I wouldn’t put “Bathtub” in the pantheon of great episodes of “New Girl,” but it had its entertaining moments. I like that this particular episode pared up Jess with Winston in a quest to get a bathtub for the apartment and later cover up the damage done by said bathtub. I always appreciate when tv shows switch up the typical character pairings. It’s a good way to spice things up without going to crazy plot-wise. Not only did this episode pair up Winston and Jess, it also put a bit more focus on Winston as opposed to most other episodes this season. On the more negative side, Nick’s plot in this one was kind of inconsequential, and Schmidt’s character arc just continues to make me sad. This episode saw Nick start a relationship with a stripper named Angie played by Olivia Munn. I’m a fan of Olivia Munn, but I’m already getting tired of the parade of distractions on the road to Nick and Jess finally getting their act together. Schmidt has finally broken free from being his boss’ kept man, but the punches just keep coming as he tries to win Cece back. I suppose if Nick and Jess and Schmidt and Cece were all together, the show would pretty much be over, but road blocks get old quick.

The episode opens with Jess giving a presentation to the rest of the roommates. Now that she’s working full time again, she wants to be able to come home from work and have a relaxing bath. There’s just one problem. The loft has no bathtub. Nick and Schmidt think this is a horrible idea, because, let’s face it, baths are kind of gross (you’re sitting in your own filth, people!). Winston, however, secretly wants a bathtub, but he doesn’t want to say so in front of the other guys. Winston and Jess join forces to secretly procure a bathtub, and their plan is to keep it up on the roof until they can sneak it into the apartment. They’re enjoying the tub up on the roof when two of the legs break, and water spills everywhere. Schmidt’s closet with all his many suits is ruined. And it’s terrible timing for this, too. Big things are happening for Schmidt, but more on that later. Winston and Jess then spend pretty much the rest of the episode trying to deflect blame for the suit-tastrophe. They try to pretend that some methheads broke into the loft and trashed the place. The lie gets more and more complicated, and hilarity ensues.

Let’s see if we can get through Nick’s plot pretty quickly, too, before moving on to the tragedy that is Schmidt. Nick has a very wise policy of never crossing the bar while working, because when he does, ba things happen. Like breaking up cat fights bad. Nick is tempted to break this policy, though, when he sees Angie. Even before he talks to her, he’s convinced they’re perfectly matched. They like similar drinks and have lots of other similar tastes. Nick crosses the bar for her, and a big fight involving her boyfriend ensues. The boyfriend needs stitches, and Angie says that someone at her work can do stitches. That’s when Nick discovers she’s a stripper. As we learned from Barney and Quinn on HIMYM, that will probably lead to jealousy issues and won’t end well. At least Nick isn’t a frequenter of strip clubs, though (that we know of), so that avoids some potential awkwardness in the future. Nick tries to call things off with Angie, telling her about his no going across the bar rule, but Angie figures out a way around that. She crosses the bar for Nick.

And now somehow I have to write four-hundred words about the tragedy that is Schmidt in this episode (and the last few episodes overall, really). Early in the episode, Schmidt’s boss has a new assignment for him. Now that he’s not her kept man anymore, she wants him to work on a campaign for a new client, Vitamin Vodka. Meanwhile, Schmidt has come to the realization (with a lot of pushing from the other roommates) that he is actually in love with Cece. It just so happens that Cece just broke up with Robbie due to his not wanting to have kids right away. Schmidt needs good suits both for his Vitamin Vodka pitch meeting and his upcoming profession of love to Cece. So the suit-tastrophe really is poorly timed. Schmidt ends up professing his love to Cece in a really terrible suit with a lightning bolt on the back, but surprisingly, Cece doesn’t turn him down. She agrees to have dinner. Unfortunately for Schmidt, this date is in direct conflict with his job. Schmidt’s boss wants him to do a ridiculous number of Vitamin Vodka shots so he truly understands the project, and Schmidt stupidly agrees to this. By the time he meets up with Cece, he’s completely trashed, and he just ends up sleeping on her couch. Cece doesn’t think Schmidt is father material after this incident, so she calls her mom and asks her to start setting up arranged dates. Schmidt is absolutely devastated, because he thinks he has lost Cece forever. I mean, this is television, so we know that won’t actually be the case, but Schmidt doesn’t know that.

I find this transition of Schmidt from a cartoonish, Barney Stinson-like character (the suit-tastrophe made me go find the video of Barney singing “Nothing Suits Me Like a Suit”) to storytelling punching bag quite interesting. I suppose it speaks to Max Greenfield’s range as an actor that the creative team has decided to give him this material. It just feels like too much, though, especially for a comedy. I’m not saying that Schmidt should never face adversity, but what’s happened to him, in the past couple weeks especially, makes me actively sad. I watch “New Girl” to have warm fuzzies at the end of the half hour. Here’s hoping Schmidt’s life is back on track sooner rather than later