Ringer 1.20: "If You're Just an Evil Bitch Then Get Over It"

“And don’t try to fix anything else. Because every time you do, things just get worse.”
-Henry

Ringer is approaching the season endgame, and the action is heating up. Pretty much everybody (including the police) now know that Henry killed Tyler. Bridget and Siobhan came oh so close to seeing each other. We also now know just how seriously evil and messed up Catherine is. I will not be at all sad to see Catherine leave my TV screen (soon, I hope). Oh and Sarah says Catherine “is a horrible human being who deserves to have hear heart ripped out by the Evil Queen.” And she’d be right. Yeah we’re big “Once Upon a Time” fans here at MTVP. So much drama is going down that I really can’t see how this can possibly end well for anyone. By the time all is said and done, I’d expect a couple people to go to jail and a couple people to die. It’s going to be a wild ride for sure. But for now, it’s time to talk about “If You’re Just an Evil Bitch Then Get Over It” in more detail.

The episode opens with a phone call between Andrew and Bridget. Have you ever noticed how much exposition on this show happens in phone calls? Just because you say the dialogue over the phone doesn’t make it showing and not telling. I suppose it’s a step above the “sexposition” on “Game of Thrones,” though. Anyway, Andrew says he’s sorted everything out with Catherine. He’s got his money and she’s going away. Bridget tells Andrew that somebody shot at her again, and she’s at the police station. Andrew is about to go pick up Bridget, but he finds Catherine in the apartment with slit wrists. Idiots. Both of them. Catherine is clearly being manipulative, and Andrew is clearly falling for it hook, line, and sinker.

Andrew and Juliet go to the hospital to see Catherine. Juliet, who is a bit smarter than her dad, I think, tells Catherine that even after pulling a stunt like this, she’s not going to forgive her. Juliet leaves the room, and the doctor tells Andrew that this wasn’t a “tentative” suicide attempt on Catherine’s part. It was the real deal, and she easily could have bled out if Andrew hadn’t found her when she did. Catherine is not going to be released from the hospital unsupervised. So the evil bitch has found a way to worm her way back into the Martin family after all. Juliet, who was listening to this conversation from the next room, looks as if she feels a little guilty, but she really shouldn’t be. Her mom is just as horrid as she thought she was, suicide attempt or not.

Henry’s at the police station as well to talk some more about Tyler’s murder. There’s new evidence from the Soho Diamond that places Henry in Tyler’s room. Specifically, it’s the testimony of the maid who let Henry into Tyler’s room. Henry is booked for the crime (finally). By the time he makes bail and gets home, Henry finds out that CPS has taken his kids. Tim Arbogast, Henry’s oh so lovely former father-in-law, is responsible for both of these unfortunate events. Siobhan feels bad (or appears to feel bad) that Henry is in so much trouble on her account, so she decides to try and “fix” it. By trying to bribe the maid/new star witness. The maid takes the money, and then she goes to the police station and tells the officers that they “have to talk.” Henry, meanwhile, pays a visit to Tim to confront him about, you know, trying to ruin his life. Tim says he’s going to destroy both Henry and Siobhan for making Gemma’s life miserable and then lying to Tim about Martin/Charles. Later, Henry confronts Siobhan about bribing the maid (the police found out about it so it’s going to cause more trouble), and Siobhan is oh so surprised that it didn’t work as planned. Idiot. Maybe she and Andrew were meant for each other after all.

Elsewhere in the city, Bridget meets up with Victor. She tells him she suspects Olivia is behind all the mayhem, thinking that her disappearance looks a lot like her having something to hide. Victor agrees to talk to an FBI buddy about it. Later, at the police station, a detective confronts Bridget about allegedly bribing the maid. Bridget has no clue what’s going on, obviously, since it was the real Siobhan who tried the bribe. Meanwhile, Victor and an FBI colleague go to confront the owner of the dry cleaning shop about running a hit service. He refuses to talk and leaves the meeting. Victor’s next step is to break into the house of the latest hit man to look for evidence. He’s snooping around in the basement, and he finds a body in the freezer. As you do.

Meanwhile, Juliet and Catherine have a chat at the hospital. Catherine is trying to guilt Juliet into continuing to help her by talking about how she just wanted to take everything away from Siobhan. Juliet, who seems to be the only sane person in the Martin household, tells Catherine that if she’s really sick, she hopes she gets better, but otherwise, she needs to get over it. Surprisingly, though, Juliet tells Andrew that she doesn’t want Catherine institutionalized. Instead, she wants Andrew to hire a nurse to take care of Catherine, but for the few days before the nurse can be hired, she wants Catherine to stay at the apartment with them. And Juliet now loses the “Only Sane Person in the Martin Household” award.

Bridget goes to the Butler house because she wants to talk to Henry about the whole bribing the maid thing, and she sees the outline of a woman through the glass in the door. It’s Siobhan, but she thinks it’s the nanny. Henry, of course, arrives home just in time to keep Bridget from seeing Siobhan, and he manages to successfully shoo her away. When Bridget gets home, it’s time for another chat with Victor. He shows her a picture of the body in the freezer, and Bridget reveals that it’s the guy she killed back in the pilot. Bridget also mentions that the burner cell phone which had been connected to the hit was taken from her apartment. She thinks it might have led to whoever ordered the hit. Victor says that the fingerprints from the photograph the hit man used to ID “Siobhan” could lead to the mastermind behind the hit. Catherine’s listening from the next room and looking worried. Of course.

At the episode draws to a close, all sorts of drama goes down. First, Tim confronts Andrew with the flash drive and says that he’s not going to report Martin/Charles to the SEC, but he is going to “save” it. Which can’t possibly be good. Meanwhile, Juliet leaves the apartment to go get stuff from Catherine’s hotel, and Catherine asks Bridget to join her for tea. Bridget reluctantly agrees. I thought she better watch Catherine make that tea very, very carefully, but of course Bridget didn’t heed my advice. Victor gets an e-mail about the fingerprints from the photo, and the photo slowly loads on his computer to build the suspense. It’s Catherine, of course. Big surprise there. Catherine brings in the tea, but she leaves the room because she says she forgot the sugar. Bridget goes to get sugar as Victor tries to call her to warn her about Catherine. Catherine hides Bridget’s phone. Victor rushes out of his apartment when he realizes Bridget isn’t answering. Meanwhile, Bridget has taken a few stupid sips of tea, and she starts to feel the effects of the drugs. She stumbles into another room and sees the mysterious hit man burner phone in Catherine’s purse. Bridget collapses, and Catherine drops pills all around her.