New Girl 1.21: "Kids"

“Yeah Schmidt, that’s what this is. That’s the deal. Just take someone else.”
- CeCe

Well it seems that Jess has finally accepted CeCe and Schmidt’s relationship because she’s trying to comfort CeCe about the possibility of being pregnant. But since pregnancy tests don’t work until 6 days after conception, Jess just urges CeCe to keep quiet for the weekend. And of course, Schmidt has to burst in while the girls are speculating about what a Schmidt baby would be like (gotta say I loved the idea of a douche baby jar). We get a really odd flashback to a baby Schmidt with a huge fro supposedly break dancing. Jess finds Nick and Winston in the kitchen talking about Winston’s boss and how he (Winston) has to drive his boss to an interview. Jess interrupts by saying that Sarah, Russell’s daughter, will be staying for the weekend and so they have to be on their best behavior. Which means no bombs and no college girls.

Sarah’s mom is kind of really intense and a little crazy. It’s clear she’s not so sure about letting her daughter stay the weekend. And she this odd habit of calling Russell her husband even though they’re divorced. Anyway, back in the loft, Schmidt is freaking out about why CeCe is avoiding him. He tries to engage Winston in some bonding to help him figure it out but Winston takes off after a call from his boss (whom he has to play getaway driver to from some random people’s house). Anyway, Sarah meets Schmidt and Nick and starts acting really odd around Nick. As Jess is trying to show her how to make pasta, Sarah wanders off to Jess’s room and finds her entire laundry basket full of bras. Okay, I kind of have to agree with Sarah on this. Jess has WAY too many. And then Jess makes the mistake of telling Sarah that she can ask anything which leads to Sarah asking all kinds of questions about odd sexual positions.

Winston is really not having a good day. He thinks he’s going to get his boss to the interview early so he can clean up when his boss nearly dives out of the car at the sight of a yard sale. His boss is really just so odd. And back at the loft, things are getting even weirder. Schmidt asks CeCe out on a date but she turns him down, telling him to take someone else. So he calls Nick, pretending he’s called a girl while nick is on a date with Chloe at an art gallery. It’s probably one of the funniest scenes of the episode. Unfortunately, just about this time, Sarah professes her undying love for Nick which prompts to hide out in his room while CeCe freaks out to Jess about Schmidt asking her out. In short order it comes out that CeCe thinks she’s pregnant and Schmidt doesn’t seem freaked out.

Just because Schmidt isn’t freaking out doesn’t mean the rest of the roommates aren’t. Well, specifically Nick. Which is kind of odd that he’s so panicked since it isn’t his potential offspring. Jess is getting things ready for dinner and Sarah continues to swoon over Nick. CeCe is kind of all emotional and Schmidt actually is really mature in trying to support her. Until they get to the dinner table and he comments on how her breasts are going to get bigger and the kind of crazy names he’s come up with for the baby. Sarah spends most of the meal glaring at Chloe. And things get super awkward when the roommates realize that Chloe is only 18, used to ride the same bus as Sarah and Jess subbed for her eighth grade English class once. Yeah, I’d be a little mortified if I were Nick, too.

We wrap up the Winston plot with him realizing that his boss has been acting so weird because the guy he’s being interviewed by makes him feel stupid. Winston gives him a pep talk and they head off for the interview. At the loft, Jess goes all angry teacher at Nick and Schmidt. Sarah’s mom is on her way and she sends Schmidt to stall her while she (Jess) and Nick try to convince Sarah t come out of Jess’s room. It turns out Sarah’s hiding out because she put on all of Jess’s bras and can’t get them off. Her mom shows up just as Jess and Nick start to untangle her. Talk about awkward. And CeCe bursts in announcing that she’s gotten her period. Sarah manages to get the bras off and her mother drags her home. CeCe heads out and Schmidt nearly has a heart attack when she almost sees the “Marry Me” sky writing he paid for. Interesting that he’d go that far. And I did feel bad for him. The tag for this week’s episode is Nick and Schmidt at Italy on Ice and Nick is having a blast. He just keeps shouting out random things as people skate by.